Relationships + Communication
We encounter various relationships in our lives— professional relationships, personal relationships, romantic relationships; relationships with family, friends, partners, colleagues, and even relationship with ourselves. The specifics of each relationship will vary, but what about your expectations of others? What about your expectations of yourself? Do you find certain patterns of behavior or experiences that keep showing up in your relationships- whether it is your relationship with your parent or your relationship with your boss? Do you notice that your expectations of others and yourself seem to feed into a particular narrative you have felt to be true about yourself or what you feel you deserve?
Often we become stuck in our thought patterns, expectations, and behaviors, especially those concerning our relationships with others and our relationship with ourselves. I am passionate about working with clients to learn where the thought and behavior patterns they find themselves experiencing come from. I encourage curiosity about one's thought and relationship patterns in order to help my clients strengthen their internal resources.
Together, let’s become curious, not critical, about how you view yourself and the world around you, and how this perspective can shape your relationships and your experience of others and your experience of yourself.
You and I will explore how you experience communication, boundaries, and vulnerability.
Can you identify what you need from your partner (friend, family member, or yourself)? Can you express this directly, without shame or aggression? Often people may minimize or completely avoid their needs altogether in a relationship. They may say they are doing this because they are “putting the relationship first. “
If you have ever been on an airplane, you have heard the cabin crew say that in the event of cabin decompression oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. We are told that you must always put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you. This not only keeps you alive, but it also ensures you keep others around you safe as well. If you go trying to put someone else’s oxygen mask on them before taking care of yourself, you could cause them serious injury because, since you have not put on your oxygen mask, you are losing oxygen to your brain and not in full control of your faculties. Whereas if you take a moment to put your own oxygen mask on first, you can be fully present in yourself to help those around you. The same is true in relationships. You must take care of your own needs before focusing on those of your partner, friend, or family member. Minimizing or completely disregarding your own needs is actually a disservice to the relationship, your loved one, and yourself.
Does this mean you get to completely dominate the relationship with what you want and need?
No way!
It can be a delicate balance asserting your needs while also allowing your partner space to respond and express their own needs. Relationships are a dance where two people are continuously learning the steps together. You will naturally step on each others toes from time to time, and how do you respond in those moments?