"I Lovingly Reject Your Apology" Hat
How often do we say “sorry” unnecessarily? How often do we use it as a filler word? How often do we apologize for our needs or for simply being human? Let’s bring awareness to our language and only use “sorry” when we are claiming responsibility for our words and actions in a meaningful way.
“I’m sorry for crying.”
“I’m sorry for needing a break.”
“I’m sorry for being 2 minutes late.”
“I’m sorry I need to cancel- my kid is sick.”
I lovingly reject your apology.
It started with my clients. So often they would tell me some variation of :
“I’m sorry I’m repeating myself.”
“I’m sorry but can we meet again this week?”
“I’m sorry for crying.”
And every time I heard “sorry” I wanted to lovingly shake my sweet clients, because I sure as hell wasn’t sorry and I was sad that they were. I was sad that they were apologizing for some part of their experience that was likely out of their control and/or something that in no way warranted an apology. I was sad that the generic response to “I’m sorry” of “It's OK” felt like I was enabling them to continue this pattern. Or, worse, that I was green lighting it. That I was saying, “Yes, you should be sorry and I accept your apology.”
I wanted no part of it.
I wanted my clients to be able to own their experience and their needs, without shame. But how? The responses of “Stop apologizing” or “There’s no need to apologize” didn’t feel right. They also feel as normalized as saying “sorry” as a filler word is. I wanted a response that was different. Something that signaled that not only is an apology not needed, it is something that I don’t condone.
So “I lovingly reject your apology” was born. It was my way to saying “abso-fucking-lutely not” to this normalized acceptance of how we use “sorry” all the time. It was my way of challenging the use of the word and the meaning behind it. Are you really sorry for asking for what you need? And if so, why? How often do you say that you’re sorry? Are you apologizing for something that is out of your control entirely? How often does that happen?
My hope with this hat and with this phrase is that it serves as a reminder for you, and anyone who reads it, to be mindful of how you use your language. And that, lovingly, you don’t need to apologize for being human and having needs.
PRODUCT DETAILS
100% chino cotton twill
Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile
6 embroidered eyelets
3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown
Adjustable strap with antique buckle
Stone colored hat with navy wording on the front, plain back
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